(See below for a synopsis of the activities of the last few weeks. The first long part is Jeanne's-the synopsis of course is from Pat.)
I believe Valerie sent out an e-mail about my not being able to receive the CyberKnife treatment, so most of you are up on that. It is disappointing, but is certainly not a hopeless situation. On the way home we flew into Portland-through heavy clouds of course. How like this whole process...not being able to see in front of us, behind us, and just barely out of the windows! The incredible thing is that when we were flying above the clouds the sun shone brilliantly. It was a reminder of how we cannot only rely on what we see with our earthly eyes, as we don't have the entire perspective consistently. In Oregon lately it's been extremely dreary, but just above those clouds is an entirely different reality. I need to keep my mind fixed on that, and not just on a tidbit of "bad" news-it's not the whole picture.
Here are some bits of more of the "picture" I've seen...
The radiation oncologist told us that my liver lesions are still very small, which is a good thing. They've also responded to chemo very well before, and there is no reason why they won't again. There are a total of 8 lesions in the liver, and if they radiated all of those at this time, my liver would be too toxic and would not be able to tolerate chemotherapy. This would be bad-the cancer is traveling through my whole body and needs to be treated systemically. She checked with the Stanford medical oncologist who only treats breast cancer, and was told that they've been having good results with the new chemo I just began, Abraxane. They are going to do a trial with the Avastin soon (the anti-VEGF drug--see earlier blog) and I received my first dose of that, along with some Abraxane this morning. (As of 9:20 pm, no bad reactions) The radiation onc. said that sounded very good, to go for it, and if at some point I'm in a place to get just a few spots blasted, I'm welcome to come back to Stanford. I think I'd want to be on chemo at the same time maybe, to discourage the extra growth that's happened this go round. I hadn't wanted to be on a new drug while traveling and then have a potential reaction on the plane, shuttle or ???
The other positive thing, cancer-wise, is that my liver (amazingly) is in very good shape. The hepatologist and radiation onc. both agree that I should have no trouble with the chemo, etc. Good job liver! Our oncologist here is positive about this next treatment as well.
We left for California last Tuesday, had PET and CT scans on Wednesday, and attended the Stanford/OSU basketball game on Thursday. We got the news of "no CyberKnife" on Friday, and afterward went to my new all time favorite restaurant in Menlo Park (all organic-look on line for "Flea Street Cafe" or JZCool's eatery and catering service for a menu. Inspiring.) Incredible food, wonderful service, everything is prepared beautifully. Had to get her cookbook. mmmmmm.
Thursday we spoke with a Stanford dietician. She was impressed with the "diet" that I'm on, and was glad to see I'd been including L-Glutamine in the morning smoothie. It's supposed to help with the neuropathy you can get with chemo, and also protect against losing lean muscle mass. She had no recommendations, and suggested I keep eating the same way. The key thing according to her studies, is to get enough fresh fruit and vegetables (esp. veggies) whether you eat meat or not, (if you don't eat meat, be very careful to get the zinc, B-12, etc. that could be lacking, and tons of protein for dealing with cancer/chemo) and to eat things in as whole a state as possible. No white stuff. She said she'll be recommending more and more people go organic over the next couple of years. She was very nice, and like all the Stanford docs, gave us her card along with her e-mail address in case we ever have any questions. These people are incredibly accessible. And they all have PhDs that they probably got when they were 14. Lots of Lexus, BMWs, Mercedes, etc. We were trying to count how many cars we saw over 10 yrs. old. I think we got up to 2. Oh well.
Saturday we cruised along the beach, and saw about 50-70 surfers along the Santa Cruz coastline. They looked like they were going to bean one another, but everybody seemed to be able to escape injury just fine. There was an otter or something swimming along with them. Saw some redwoods, some beautiful countryside, and a lot of the inside of my eyelids. Pat drove and caught the Redskins game on the radio and relaxed a bit. Nice day before traveling home on Sunday. GREAT to see the kids again. Not used to this much time away from them.
One of our favorite things that occurred was being able to stay at a dear woman's home this visit. We had met her at a little church on our prior visit. We'd wished to attend a small quiet service and be incognito. After the service, the woman in front of us turned, asked us about ourselves, why we were in Palo Alto, etc. etc. Then she unabashedly said that the next time we were in town, we should stay with her. She had the extra space, we'd have the freedom to come and go as needed, and she was close enough to both the airport and Stanford as to be convenient. What were we to do other than take her at her word??? She served us a lovely dinner upon our arrival, and our schedules revolved around each other nicely. It was the most dear thing to have what could be a quite depressing meeting with the oncologist, then come home to the encouragement and prayers of this saint. A true example of how we make our plans, then the Lord directs our steps. There have been so many examples of how we've been watched over, directed, encouraged, and blessed over and over in abundance through this. Many of you have been such an example of God at work in your lives and ours, and it has been truly a treat to watch and a necessary gift to receive. That part is a little tricky sometimes. As another friend said, "it's such a bittersweet experience-there is so much pain in it, but yet so much love being shared, so much good being done." I sometimes think it would be impossible to see the depth of Christ's love without experiencing some amount of the pain, suffering and sorrow this world brings. What would we have to compare it to? To what would we compare the joy? In what way would we measure the comfort we receive from our precious friends and family? What need would we have to be rescued and how would we know we even needed it? Who would we rely on to do it? Where would we draw our standards from if there were no God?
Thanks again for tuning in, and caring for us and our family. As for prayers, as always, we need prayer for Dr. Kenyon and the herbalist, and all those who are being involved in resolving this cancer-wisdom, grace, timing, and of course, the healing of my body quickly. For continued patience and strength for Pat and the children and I as we support one another in this. This season has been tiring and sometimes frustrating. Pray for grace to stick with a "clean diet", lots of exercise and the resolve to be faithful. For trust in our Father's plans-that His plan is perfect, that His timing is best, and that He will continue to walk us through each step of this. His guidance has been evident. Valerie got Pat and I some Ballroom Dance classes for Christmas-we attended our first one last night. Please pray my hair stays in my head, and my health (and Pat's) stays good so we can take advantage of this to play, and not be "doing cancer".
Thanks again,
Love you,
Jeanne
Quick chronology of the past months: (from Pat)
Nov. 18th
CT scans revealed the remaining three tumors in the liver were increasing in size.
Dr. K felt the chemo was no longer effective, and recommended we start a new chemo regimen in a few weeks (take a break to build Jeanne’s immune system.)
Mid-Nov to early Dec.
Began investigating the Cyberknife treatment to radiate/eliminate the tumors in the liver. The closest facility to offer this is Stanford University in Palo Alto, Calif.
Dec. 5th - 7th
First trip to Stanford. Met with Drs. and found out that Jeanne was a good candidate for treatment. She would receive the treatment in the next month or so.
Dec. 15th - 19th
Second trip. Met liver specialist; she gave Jeanne an affirmative to get treatment. Also, gold “seeds” or markers were placed in Jeanne’s liver in anticipation of the radiation treatment.
Jan 3rd -8th
Third Stanford trip. Jan 4th, CT was performed for planning. Set a tentative plan for Cyberknife treatment on Jan 9th or 10th. On Jan 7th, the Dr. informed us the # of spots has increased to 8. This is too many to treat with the Cyberknife because it would create too much toxicity in the liver. Doctor recommended we return after chemo has reduced tumors to a smaller number again. Gold seeds stay in liver and will probably freak out our radiologist when he scans next time. They look like rays of a star when they're being scanned. HA!
