I just spent some time re-reading a lot of the last blog postings. I know that this started as a way to keep you updated on what was going on cancer-wise, etc. with our family as it is often hard or feels intrusive to ask, and for us to repeat everything numerous times dries out our mouth. :D (If only I could learn to condense!!)
I was a little struck however, that one thing I would like for this to be is somehow an encouragement. Laying in bed last night, I reflected on our friends-how deep and wide our friendships with you have become. How much the Lord has allowed some of our lives to intertwine. I was so thankful. Reflecting lately on relationships, and what God wants from us, I thought that this blog is not really about "the cancer". It is about how much we love you all. How much all of us long to be included. How much potential we have as humans to grow spiritually-closer to God, closer to one another, living up to our potential in every area. Watching Robert get to play ball, Sarah get to learn photography, the other ones grow in every single area of their lives. The creativity in which we have to express joy, gratefulness, love, compassion, peace, forgiveness, even frustrations and learning to grow past those. The myriad of ways we are each given to reflect beauty and life is astounding. I guess I would like to encourage you to live that out to the fullest potential. As we choose to be filled with the spirit of God and create in the ways of our creator, whether it involves writing, athletics, loving service, music, art, even accounting or marketing :D (Pat and Nicole) it is such a blessed gift! Walk in it, revel in it. That is a form of worship. I believe it is pleasing to God. Our thoughts can be turned toward those things that are pure and holy, noble and of good report from those reflected in the morning paper, or from the tough individual circumstances each one of us face. Many of you see our lives right now as a monumental struggle, and to some degree they are. What is more of a struggle for each one of us is how to live each day intentionally, full of purpose and kindness. It would be a shame for the only focus of these postings to be on "the cancer". That would give it such power, which is doesn't deserve. What if the entire focus of my life was this disease, and my life was cut short by some calamity today or tomorrow? I wouldn't want to be known as this cancer victim, but instead by the other things that I've been able to bring to life-not death. Anyway, just needed to ramble some more. Thanks for taking the time. I encourage you today to bask in goodness. The breath of life. Plant flowers (my baby peas are up, as are the tomato starts!) Draw, play or listen to good music, look at the clouds (easy enough), eat good food. Live simply, but fully. Don't let anger, apathy, or anyone else's "downer day" turn yours into one. Choose joy. We love you all so much. Thanks for being a huge part of our lives.
Jeanne
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Plans...March '07
Ok, so we're not done yet. The brain MRI showed four new spots, so the Gamma Guy in Portland said we'll just zap 'em right out of there. That procedure is scheduled for March 21st, which is the earliest they could get me in. Evidently there are a bunch of people in line for this carnival ride. Pat and I will go up the 20th, meet with the micro-neuro-surgeon (Can you say "My Mom's proud of ME?") and a couple of other extreme doctors, make sure this will all fly, then get to the hospital at 5:45 or 6 am next day for the drugging and screwing on of the really really tight metal frame that will (please God) keep them from radiating the wrong part of my already challenged mental gray, white etc matter. Gray is kind of a dull color for something that's so amazing as the brain. Maybe chartruese or that purpley-orange-red color of a sunset? Even chrome?? Anyway, that's the brain.
The liver is not yet perfect. It has a few spots that grew together, and some new stuff. So, that means that after I'm done with the Brain Blaster, I wait two weeks and get a new chemo regime as per what they deem I can handle at that time. His (Dr. Chui, the breast cancer specialist at OHSU) prediction at this point is that my liver is not near failing (thanks, that's good) and he will assess me at the 2 week post radiation mark, then start me on some new stuff. If I'm looking/feeling strong, he'll have more options to work with. I'm thinking-Yeah-me too! He wants me to be done with any side effects of the radiation, and give my immune system a chance to recover.
Bones at this time look ok, but there is one small spot on the right posterior chest wall that looks suspicious for malignancy.
So here we go. The good part is that I expected actually a little more stuff in the liver if it were to be growing. I've been off of chemo for a long time, (appreciating every minute), so the liver could have had a worse showing. Could've been better, too, but it is what it is, and we have to deal with that.
In preparation, a few of us are going through colds, so our bodies can experience the normal winter wonder that comes with Oregon. It almost feels good to have something that anybody else can relate to, and you know will go away. We will also need to alter our once altered already vacation that a lot of you so lovingly planned for us. It WILL get done. We just have to refigure out when, reorganize work schedules, tickets, etc.
Prayers could include healing, scheduling, endurance, all the communications with everyone that need to take place do so in a timely matter so all the details are taken care of, that the kids and Pat can keep up with their mom's "stuff" emotionally as well as physically. This is the marathon of marathons for them.
That's it on this end. Never a dull moment. Sure would be nice???
Love you!
Jeanne
PS: Thanks again, Travis and Staff at Great Harvest. You guys are wonderful. Blessings. Susan, John and Alice-you guys represent the good part of this. Would've been nice around more pleasant circumstances, but...oh well. Thanks for the friendship.
The liver is not yet perfect. It has a few spots that grew together, and some new stuff. So, that means that after I'm done with the Brain Blaster, I wait two weeks and get a new chemo regime as per what they deem I can handle at that time. His (Dr. Chui, the breast cancer specialist at OHSU) prediction at this point is that my liver is not near failing (thanks, that's good) and he will assess me at the 2 week post radiation mark, then start me on some new stuff. If I'm looking/feeling strong, he'll have more options to work with. I'm thinking-Yeah-me too! He wants me to be done with any side effects of the radiation, and give my immune system a chance to recover.
Bones at this time look ok, but there is one small spot on the right posterior chest wall that looks suspicious for malignancy.
So here we go. The good part is that I expected actually a little more stuff in the liver if it were to be growing. I've been off of chemo for a long time, (appreciating every minute), so the liver could have had a worse showing. Could've been better, too, but it is what it is, and we have to deal with that.
In preparation, a few of us are going through colds, so our bodies can experience the normal winter wonder that comes with Oregon. It almost feels good to have something that anybody else can relate to, and you know will go away. We will also need to alter our once altered already vacation that a lot of you so lovingly planned for us. It WILL get done. We just have to refigure out when, reorganize work schedules, tickets, etc.
Prayers could include healing, scheduling, endurance, all the communications with everyone that need to take place do so in a timely matter so all the details are taken care of, that the kids and Pat can keep up with their mom's "stuff" emotionally as well as physically. This is the marathon of marathons for them.
That's it on this end. Never a dull moment. Sure would be nice???
Love you!
Jeanne
PS: Thanks again, Travis and Staff at Great Harvest. You guys are wonderful. Blessings. Susan, John and Alice-you guys represent the good part of this. Would've been nice around more pleasant circumstances, but...oh well. Thanks for the friendship.