Our Anniversary is coming soon. It would be 27 years of marriage if Jeanne were alive. Yet, I still feel married, and still wear my wedding ring. I keep her wedding ring on my key chain.The photo was taken on our wedding day, Aug 9th, 1981, atop Mary's Peak, which is West of Corvallis.
The pastor who officiated called it the "Field Fairy " wedding. I still contend Jeanne and I were not hippies. Looking at our photos, and the lifestyle we led, I can see why arguing with anyone is futile.
Looking back over the last few months, I realize I was running on adrenaline the first month after Jeanne died. I slept little, and I kept myself constantly busy. After I returned to work, and things became routine, at least a new routine, fatigue began to hit hard. I still tried to maintain the same pace, and my body and heart (soul) had other plans. Now, I am trying to give myself the freedom to slow down, and not expect so much of myself. But, I do not do it consistently.
I have been attending a support group, as well as seeing a counselor/chaplain on occasion. I had no idea this would be this hard. In fact, it seems to be getting harder, not easier. Everything I read, and hear from others tells me everything I am experiencing is normal. Is that supposed to be a relief?
To those of you that I see and run into, thank you for your understanding and consideration as I sometimes avoid you, and other times talk your ear off.
Pat
2 comments:
Pat,
Thank you for keeping in touch with this blog. I often think about you guys and know things must still be tough for you, so this is a good way to find that out.
I am surprised how often Jeannie comes to mind and how I miss her openness and laughter. We were all blessed to know her.
You continue to be in our prayers.
Please keep in touch.
We love you all.
Linda
Praying for you today ... and laughing with you at the "hippie wedding".
Our 26th is this month, but we were NOT Oregon Hippies.
Blessings to you and the kids!
Laurel :)
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